You struggle trying to delegate more effectively. At some point you have to let go.
You know it and a long list of people keep reminding you of how little progress you have made. You have already heard a range of reasons why you should do it and you have already avoided admitting to the short list of reasons why you won’t! You just don’t have the patience or the trust to give people time to get it done and risk them not doing it as well as you would have yourself.
Consider this: the patience you need to delegate requires you setting clear and realistic deliverables and deserves evidence of progress from the person to earn it.
If you take time to tell others what you expect, either the final deliverable or the approach to that deliverable, they can move further along without your well-intended though micro-managed check-ins. The two of you can reduce the amount of wasted effort pursuing dead-ends. They can develop some scars and skills that will position them to add more value from more experience. You can spend more of your time making a difference in ways and areas that better leverage your experience and skills. (Just don’t be afraid to try something new. Your direct reports are actually there to support you.)
They owe you evidence of progress because they recognize you have a pretty high need for control you are trying to hide or at least dampen. They also need some checkpoints because they have a high need for achievement and actually do want to deliver results that meet and exceed expectations.
Tell them the what, why and how of what you expect. Give them time to work it. Figure out when and how much updating you both need.
You will both grow when you delegate effectively.